Are We Meeting Our Deeper Emotional & Spiritual Needs? A Self-Check for Men

Take the self-check

Most men were taught to look after everyone else’s needs first. Work, family, bills, and keeping it together. Somewhere along the way, your own emotional and spiritual needs got left at the back of the queue, and you may not even notice they have gone unmet.

This short self-check helps you see where you stand. It takes about five minutes, and nothing you enter is saved or sent anywhere. There are no right answers. A low score is information, not failure. It is also a doorway into a deeper self-inquiry into what you need.

What the self-check asks about

Twenty-one questions on how much you gave yourself this past week: self-care, kindness, rest, feeling and expressing your emotions, connection with other people, stillness, meaning, and your inner calling. These are the needs underneath much of the stress, anger, numbness and burnout men carry.

If you are reading this for someone you love

You cannot make him do this, and pushing usually backfires. What you can do is share the page and say you found it interesting. Or take it yourself first. Men often engage when it feels like a self-check, not a lecture.

Common questions

What are emotional needs?

The things you need to feel okay inside: being understood, accepted, supported, and able to feel and express what is real.

Why do men struggle to know what they feel?

Many men were never shown how. Feelings were something to push down and get on with. It is a learned habit, and it can be unlearned.

Is this a test or a diagnosis?

No. It is a reflection tool. If things feel heavy, speak to someone you trust or a counsellor.

What do I do with my results?

Choose the lowest area and try the one small action suggested. Small and steady works better than big and rare.

Want to look at how you handle your emotions as well? Try the emotional intelligence self-check for men.

Mark Randall, Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, Spirit Warrior ~ Men’s Inner Health