We men are good at two things: pushing through physically, and thinking our way through everything else (e.g., 2 plus 2 equals 4).
We’re built for it. Trained for it. Rewarded for it.
But here’s what no one tells us.
When we live too long in the mental — overthinking, overanalysing, replaying, ruminating “round & bloody round” — we end up with too many tabs open. Brain fog sets in, we become overwhelmed with fatigue & make shit decisions. Then guess what? We kick the hell out of ourselves!!! You wouldn’t do that to a friend or your partner but good at doing it to ourselves. Experts at it LOL.!!! Then there’s is looming emotional flatness that’s hard to name but impossible to ignore because we’re in it!! Living it but pretending it’s not there.
And quietly, without even realising it, we retreat once again to the familiar metaphorical cave. But each time we go deeper and deeper within it. What’s wrong? “Nothing I’m fine” is the usual line back to those that love us.
The cave looks different for each of us.
For some it’s a moody silence but I’m not in a mood!! For others it’s silent inward rage. For some it’s just going through the motions — present in body, absent everywhere else.
What’s happening beneath all of this: Our Emotional and Spiritual dimensions of who we are have been lost in translation or never connected to. Well we sort of. We connect to our emotional but convert it to anger or shut down!! Our deep inner essence has once again gone unattended, ignored or rejected.
Not because we’re broken but as men we were never taught this stuff. You know our old social conditioning “Boys don’t cry,” “Stop sooking” – Let’s just pretend it isn’t there.
I believe at this stage of life, there are four dimensions to every man:
Physical — what our body carries. Mental — the stories we repeatedly tell ourselves. Emotional — what we dare to feel ~ “can’t go there girlfriend”. Spiritual — who we truly are beneath all the ego roles ~ our spirit essence & the deep wisdom and power of our Spirit Warrior.
Most of us have lived in the first two for eons and now it’s ain’t working no more.
The work is learning to come home to all four realms of our psyche ~ A Gift to Self, Others & ‘All That Is.”
So, what is The Work?
The Work is to deepen our inner awareness of Self. Developing and learning to notice what’s happening inside you — and instead of bottling it, burying it, or exploding with it — to “feel it ~ heal it,” “name it to own it,” “Be with it ~ to Self Love & Heal”.
The Work is opening your Heart to the emotional realms of our psyche. All those feelings positive and negative. It’s the negative, the old hurts, traumas, wounds that subconsciously influence our ‘Not So Good Habits or Patterns.”
As we become more ‘inner aware’ of ourselves we become more familiar to processing & recognising the different aspects of self ~ the good and not so good. We can begin the journey of a more honest & tender expression of it.
The Work is learning ‘To let go,’ ‘To accept,’ ‘To forgive,’ & ‘To surrender’ from our Spiritual or Spirit Warrior Essence. This is definitely not a weakness, but the most courageous & brave thing a man can do.
The letting go of our Ego ain’t easy ~ as it does not like surrender. As we get older it is easier to let go of our Ego Self.
The Work is facing the painful hurts from the past that keep you locked in old patterns of shit, shame and suffering — and in healing these wounds, we give ourselves the Gift of discovering real man who was always underneath them ~ You & Your Spirit Warrior.
He has been there all along ~ deep in your spirit, your essence, your being.
Gently Waiting.
This is not about becoming someone different.
It’s about becoming more fully yourself ~ the True You.
And when you do — the conversations with your partner, your children, your friends — they change too.
Its’s not through old confrontations of “he said – she said,” “prove or disprove,” but through a more deep loving gentle curiosity. It’s the new journey, the kind of quiet, powerful tenderness that only a man who knows himself can offer. What a beautiful Gift & enjoy giving this gift to those you Love.
The journey begins with one step.
The same as the Lao Tzu quote many moons ago says, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
Be Gentle.